“The only constant in life is change.”
Change, expected or not, will affect us in some way.
Circumstances… relationships… even our own selves are constantly changing. Life is full of various changes, challenges, and transitions.
Sometimes, we welcome change. At other times, we fall down or feel paralyzed by it.
With each change, you may have some level of uncertainty, discomfort, anxiousness, fear, mourning, sadness, or depression. Even if it’s a “positive change” you should be “happy” about, other negative feelings can cloud what you “should” be feeling.
Relationships: Family, friends, and romantic partnerships…
New relationships and friendships
Getting to know people is often accompanied by the joyful spark that comes with new experiences.
It’s exciting, but it requires some vulnerability. Communicating with a new friend or partner can stir up all sorts of insecurity.
You feel like sometimes you don’t know what or how to say what you want.
How will I fit in with their friends and family? Will I be liked?
It’s normal to be anxious about opening up and revealing who you are, but it’s uncomfortable nonetheless.
You may find yourself shutting down or holding back. Maybe you are avoiding others or social situations because it feels safer to be alone. But being alone, you start to feel… well… lonely.
Breakups, divorce, and the ending of friendships…
Even when the ending of a relationship “makes sense” or is “the right thing to do,” it comes with loss and change.
Your routines… your closeness… your support system… they’ve all changed.
You may be scrolling social media, looking through old photos, wanting desperately to call or talk to that person. You even pick up the phone to text or call… but you stop. You cry or feel sad.
Will this ever feel better? Will I ever make new friends or meet a new partner? Will I be alone forever?
Difficult relationships with parents, siblings, or other family members…
No one seems to get me. They still treat me like a child. They ignore me.
Maybe you have been abused or hurt by a loved one.
Maybe it’s not quite “that bad,” but you feel unheard, uncared for, and misunderstood.
You’ve tried doing what they want. You’ve tried walking away. Maybe you’ve even been estranged or chosen to end the relationship.
It hurts. How could someone who is supposed to love you treat you this way?
Even if you know walking away was best, managing the pain alone has been too much. You may have tried coping in all sorts of ways: crying, talking, self-harm, shutting down, isolating from others… even trying to make new friends or “choose a new family.”
But nothing fills that hole.
Nothing feels like it will be helpful. And you may have experienced similar things with friends or other family members. You may wonder, “Is it me?”
Can anything really help?
Maybe you are fully out, or maybe you are in the process of figuring where you are outside of the cisgender, heteronormative box.
Or maybe you have a loved one who identifies outside of straight, cisgender norms.
Perhaps you are set in your identity and sexual orientation but have found that other therapists or providers don’t quite get who you are or give you the support you deserve. Maybe you felt a stigma talking to them – like you couldn’t be fully open about who you are.
Finding support and understanding has been difficult. It’s easy to see why you’ve tried managing life’s difficulties on your own. But, unfortunately, that’s not working out.
Navigating difficulties with family and friends or confronting homophobia, prejudice, transitions, and feeling comfortable in your own skin requires understanding, supportive relationships with others—including any therapist with whom you work.
You’ve come to the right place: one that’s supportive, judgment-free, and understanding.
Grief and loss…
You may have lost someone to death or changes in your relationship.
You may be missing your healthy self from changes from an illness.
A miscarriage or failed adoption can trigger a loss of hope or dreams that came with the promise of a child.
Job loss and all that comes with it can be difficult.
Sudden or expected loss can trigger a sense of uncertainty, hopelessness, fear, and sadness.
You feel unsettled.
What am I to do now? What will my future look like? Can I survive this?
Change in life is inevitable, as is the uncertainty that comes with it.
Not knowing how these life changes will turn out… you wish you had a crystal ball!
But, as you realize predicting the future is an impossible task, you may feel emotionally and physically exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, sad, hopeful, and everything in between.
Sometimes the emotions are too much to bear. What should you do? Who can help?
Do I even need help? Am I just blowing things out of proportion? Can I just “get through it” or “be positive” and hope it all works out?
It’s awful trying to manage all this uncertainty on your own.
Your mind races, trying to solve all these problems. You feel overwhelmed and, at times, consumed by the thoughts of the situation.
You avoid things, people, and activities, staying home and binge-watching whatever is on. Yet your mind keeps going. You can’t even remember what was just said on TV or in the book you are reading.
Emotions are overwhelming. Crying has taken so much time, but you can’t stop. Maybe you try to shut them down or stuff them away when you can.
You may have even expected or WANTED this change, but you still feel down. These changes are inconvenient and disruptive.
You miss knowing what to expect – the “normal” way of being and acting. You wish you could either go back to before or fast-forward to when this is over.
How can I get through??
Therapy can help!
I don’t have a magic wand or crystal ball, but I can help you explore what has happened, your hopes for the future, and the emotions you are experiencing.
We will work together to understand what you want out of life and what is most meaningful to you – what’s deep inside your heart and soul.
Once we’ve identified what matters most to you, we will work together to develop healthy coping strategies for painful experiences, changes, relationships, and feelings.
We will work through accepting those aspects of the situations that you cannot change… while seeking to understand what is in your control (and what is not).
Doing so will prepare you to handle future changes and challenges.
Change can lead to a more fulfilled you! Are you ready?
When we work through challenges, we grow. You’ve done it before. Learning to use a toilet, walk, or even read the words on this page took great effort. Imagine how different life would be if you hadn’t done those things.
As you are learning to face new challenges in your life, you’ll grow in the struggle. Let me be your guide to make sure that you grow stronger.
Guided by your values, we’ll get you through this.
If you are ready to take the next step toward becoming a better you, call today: (724) 271-8503.